Fulgenzio
’Twas round midnight,
and Elisabeth was walking slowly on the path across the Old Wood, taking every
step with excruciating care, for fear of stumbling on a root or a stone covered
by the leaves. She was carrying just a little lamp, whose light was too
weak to chase the heavy darkness looming around her but a few yards before her
feet. And she was scared.
She would have never entered that wood if she hadn't been dared to, and she was too stubborn to turn a bet down. But she was scared. Little voices seemed to resound in the wood as the wind gushed through the tree branches, and Elisabeth anxiously looked around, squinting her eyes in the painstaking effort to perceive a shape in the pitch black night.
Then she heard it. “You gotta be kidding me!”, a little voice said. Elisabeth froze.
This was no wind.
“Really? two mosquitoes? Not again!”
Elisabeth was unable to stop her feet from advancing toward the source of the sound. It seemed to come from behind a thick bush. As she peered over the bush, an intense glow forced her to close her eyes, as a little but deep voice shouted
“Now what???”
Elisabeth did not know what to reply, who was addressing her, or even whether she was being addressed at all.
“That’s wonderful. I was really wondering why Gigantor wasn’t showing up”. Elisabeth opened her mouth and tried to say something, as her eyes adjusted and she could see that the glow was coming from somewhere on the ground “I…I am not Gigantor, I…my name is Elisabeth, but you can call me Beth”. She realised that sounded a bit funny.
“Look, nice to meet you, giant human lass, but as you can see I have a lot on my mind, right now, and I really have no time for you” said the voice bitterly.
Elisabeth said: “but…who are you?” as she could finally see that the glow was produced by something similar to a big mushroom.
“What do you want?” said the mushroom. “let’s get this over with, but please, let’s not go through the whole it’s-a-miracle-thing drama , alright?”. Elisabeth could not stop herself “but you are a talking mushroom, thats a miracle…..”
“What did I just tell you?” yelled the mushroom, “did you fall off the crib when you were a baby Giant?”
Elisabeth noticed an owl staring at her from a nearby tree “I tol’ you” squeaked the owl “them big folks are all stooopid, ‘ave to be them big feet they ‘ave, drain all their blood”.
Elisabeth, raised her voice, trying not to scream “Could anybody please explain me, where I am, and who you are??” She barely heard the voice of the owl softly repeating “…are stooopid”.
“Now now”, a squirrel stepped forward toward Elisabeth “let’s stay calm. Dear daughter of men, you have just spoken to Fulgenzio, our dearest glowing fellow over there”. Elisabeth heard a grunt. “Fulgenzio”, continued the squirrel “has a…I guess you could say a thin skin, sorry Fulgenzio, a thin bark”. Fulgenzio almost jumped “A bark?? My spores!!! You think I have a bark? Do you think I am some silly underdeveloped plant? I am a noble fungus!!”
“Well yes, Fulgenzio, we all know you are a fungus, (that means a mushroom, Elisabeth) I was just trying to explain the human here the situation”.
Fulgenzio replied quickly “She’ll know the situation as I stick an hypha up her ear”
The squirrel proceeded to explain “A hypha (plural hyphae) is a long, branching filamentous structure of a fungus…”
“I know what’s a hypha” said Elisabeth “and I do not need you to lecture me on natural sciences! and blimey, Fulgenzio, you know what? You are mean!”
“Whaddo you mean by mean?” squeaked the owl “She probably means the mean of nature, it is a philosophical question” explained the squirrel, who was hit by a chestnut and fell off the branch.
“Will you just shut up?” said Fulgenzio “more chestnuts where this came from. Will anybody help me so that I can finally have some rest and we can all carry on with our dear lives? Gigantor, come over here”
Elisabeth stooped down toward the mushroom. A little bug was frantically flying around Fulgenzio. She could hear the bug laughing like crazy.
Fulgenzio spoke in a whisper “I am sorry, dear Lady, and I really mean it, but these little bugs are exhausting. They are not bad, but when they see the light, they go crazy and they can’t stop laughing!!!!”
“I understand, Mr. Fulgenzio” replied Elisabeth as politely as she could. “Would you mind…knocking it away for me?”
“Yeaaaaa, give ‘im hell” shouted the owl.
Elisabeth pushed the little bug away, she could hear the weak protests of the bug as it flew away.
Fulgenzio sighed in relief “Oh thank you, that feels better…thank you everybody, and….. thank you Elisabeth. I guess I was really mean with you.” Elisabeth smiled.
Fulgenzio continued with a big grin underneath his big moustaches. Then took a deep breath….. and shouted “Now can you all just let me sleep, for fungus’ sake????”
She would have never entered that wood if she hadn't been dared to, and she was too stubborn to turn a bet down. But she was scared. Little voices seemed to resound in the wood as the wind gushed through the tree branches, and Elisabeth anxiously looked around, squinting her eyes in the painstaking effort to perceive a shape in the pitch black night.
Then she heard it. “You gotta be kidding me!”, a little voice said. Elisabeth froze.
This was no wind.
“Really? two mosquitoes? Not again!”
Elisabeth was unable to stop her feet from advancing toward the source of the sound. It seemed to come from behind a thick bush. As she peered over the bush, an intense glow forced her to close her eyes, as a little but deep voice shouted
“Now what???”
Elisabeth did not know what to reply, who was addressing her, or even whether she was being addressed at all.
“That’s wonderful. I was really wondering why Gigantor wasn’t showing up”. Elisabeth opened her mouth and tried to say something, as her eyes adjusted and she could see that the glow was coming from somewhere on the ground “I…I am not Gigantor, I…my name is Elisabeth, but you can call me Beth”. She realised that sounded a bit funny.
“Look, nice to meet you, giant human lass, but as you can see I have a lot on my mind, right now, and I really have no time for you” said the voice bitterly.
Elisabeth said: “but…who are you?” as she could finally see that the glow was produced by something similar to a big mushroom.
“What do you want?” said the mushroom. “let’s get this over with, but please, let’s not go through the whole it’s-a-miracle-thing drama , alright?”. Elisabeth could not stop herself “but you are a talking mushroom, thats a miracle…..”
“What did I just tell you?” yelled the mushroom, “did you fall off the crib when you were a baby Giant?”
Elisabeth noticed an owl staring at her from a nearby tree “I tol’ you” squeaked the owl “them big folks are all stooopid, ‘ave to be them big feet they ‘ave, drain all their blood”.
Elisabeth, raised her voice, trying not to scream “Could anybody please explain me, where I am, and who you are??” She barely heard the voice of the owl softly repeating “…are stooopid”.
“Now now”, a squirrel stepped forward toward Elisabeth “let’s stay calm. Dear daughter of men, you have just spoken to Fulgenzio, our dearest glowing fellow over there”. Elisabeth heard a grunt. “Fulgenzio”, continued the squirrel “has a…I guess you could say a thin skin, sorry Fulgenzio, a thin bark”. Fulgenzio almost jumped “A bark?? My spores!!! You think I have a bark? Do you think I am some silly underdeveloped plant? I am a noble fungus!!”
“Well yes, Fulgenzio, we all know you are a fungus, (that means a mushroom, Elisabeth) I was just trying to explain the human here the situation”.
Fulgenzio replied quickly “She’ll know the situation as I stick an hypha up her ear”
The squirrel proceeded to explain “A hypha (plural hyphae) is a long, branching filamentous structure of a fungus…”
“I know what’s a hypha” said Elisabeth “and I do not need you to lecture me on natural sciences! and blimey, Fulgenzio, you know what? You are mean!”
“Whaddo you mean by mean?” squeaked the owl “She probably means the mean of nature, it is a philosophical question” explained the squirrel, who was hit by a chestnut and fell off the branch.
“Will you just shut up?” said Fulgenzio “more chestnuts where this came from. Will anybody help me so that I can finally have some rest and we can all carry on with our dear lives? Gigantor, come over here”
Elisabeth stooped down toward the mushroom. A little bug was frantically flying around Fulgenzio. She could hear the bug laughing like crazy.
Fulgenzio spoke in a whisper “I am sorry, dear Lady, and I really mean it, but these little bugs are exhausting. They are not bad, but when they see the light, they go crazy and they can’t stop laughing!!!!”
“I understand, Mr. Fulgenzio” replied Elisabeth as politely as she could. “Would you mind…knocking it away for me?”
“Yeaaaaa, give ‘im hell” shouted the owl.
Elisabeth pushed the little bug away, she could hear the weak protests of the bug as it flew away.
Fulgenzio sighed in relief “Oh thank you, that feels better…thank you everybody, and….. thank you Elisabeth. I guess I was really mean with you.” Elisabeth smiled.
Fulgenzio continued with a big grin underneath his big moustaches. Then took a deep breath….. and shouted “Now can you all just let me sleep, for fungus’ sake????”
Copyright (c) 2015 Carlo Galli, all rights reserved
